he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
