dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize