Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
