All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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