i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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