But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
