She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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