Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
No subtext here. People are naked.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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