Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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