You can't motorboat a personality
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
