No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
