seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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