Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
