i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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