ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
