11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
