Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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