32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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