Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
