I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
