Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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