what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
