so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
