She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
