I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
