I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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