i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
