dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
