She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I would ride that face into the sunset
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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