Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize