I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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