Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
