Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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