Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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