I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
