MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just pee around me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
