Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
