Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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