Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Did I show you my penis last night?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
