Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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