i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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