i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You're earring is so big in my mouth
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
