you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
