More tranny stories later!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
