my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Randomize
