hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
