He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
