yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
