ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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