Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
