I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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