either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
