Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
