somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
