I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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