Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Who died my cat blue again?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
