Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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